cindy@cindycavoto.com
She was wild in all the best ways. That woman who danced in the kitchen barefoot, blasted music just because it felt good, and wore red lipstick to the grocery store without caring what anyone thought. She stayed up late reading, not because she had to learn something for work, but because she was curious. She dreamed big, laughed loudly, and moved through the world with purpose and fire. So where did she go?
The truth is, she didn’t disappear. She got buried under meetings, team check-ins, client calls, permission slips, strategy decks, grocery lists, and a million invisible tasks that fall on the shoulders of women who are always expected to hold it all together. You didn’t lose her. You just got busy surviving while forgetting to take a Power Pause. That survival mode has become so normal, you hardly notice it’s slowly erasing the parts of you that used to feel most alive.
How the Disconnection Happens
It doesn’t crash down like a thunderstorm. It slips in like fog. It starts when you become the dependable one. The go-to person. The woman who makes it all happen. You become highly efficient, organized, and strategic. The very things that got you here start to crowd out the spontaneous, creative, intuitive parts of you.
You don’t drop the ball. You hold everything together. But holding everything leaves no hands free to hold yourself.
The world applauds this. You get praised for how strong you are. How you make it all look easy. What no one sees is what it’s costing you. After years of high-performance living, you realize you haven’t heard your own inner voice in a long, long time.
You’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re just disconnected.
Signs You’ve Lost Touch With Her
This isn’t about waiting for a midlife meltdown or dramatic burnout to wake up. The signs are already here, but they’re quiet. Subtle. Easy to ignore. That’s what makes them dangerous.
You’re tired all the time, but sleep doesn’t help. You scroll for hours because sitting still with your thoughts feels uncomfortable. Good news hits, but you barely react. You say you’re just “busy” or “in a season,” but deep down you know something’s off.
You find yourself thinking, “I miss me.” But you can’t explain what part of you is gone.
You’re not failing. You’re being called back to yourself.
The Truth About That “Old” You
Let’s set the record straight. This isn’t about going back in time. You’re not here to pretend you’re 22 again. You’ve lived. You’ve learned. You’ve evolved. But there’s a core part of you that was never supposed to be traded for productivity.
That boldness. That weirdness. That spark. It didn’t evaporate. It got wrapped in layers of expectations and endless responsibility.
This version of you, the one you remember, she isn’t obsolete. She’s essential. She’s the one who had ideas before they had deadlines. She’s the one who made things not because they’d sell, but because it felt good.
She didn’t go away. She burned out a touch. And she’s been waiting for you to come back.
Why Women Over 40 Feel This Shift So Deeply
You’ve probably spent 20 years building a life that looks good on paper. I know I did! You’ve raised kids, built businesses, supported partners, paid bills, hit milestones. You’ve done what you were told you “should” do.
But now? That sense of pride is tangled up with a quiet ache. It’s not a crisis. It’s a reckoning.
You begin to ask questions like, “Is this all there is?” You want more but not in the way you used to want more money or more accolades. You want more meaning. More spaciousness. More self.
The pressure hasn’t lessened. The demands haven’t stopped. Something inside you has changed. You’re not chasing anymore. You’re seeking something deeper.
The Most Dangerous Lie: “This Is Just What Life Looks Like Now”
You’ve said it. Maybe in your head. Maybe out loud to a friend or your therapist. “This is just what life looks like when you run a business.” Or, “This is what motherhood is.” Or, “You can’t have everything.”
But that’s not truth. That’s resignation. It’s fed to women constantly. Be the martyr. Give endlessly. Collapse in private, smile in public.
You’ve been sold a lie that if you stop pushing, everything will fall apart. You’ve been taught that aliveness is optional. It isn’t.
Responsibility and joy can exist together. You can be reliable without being erased.
The Reconnection Isn’t a Project, It’s a Permission
This isn’t about turning reconnection into one more task. You’re not going to optimize your way back to yourself. That’s more of the same noise.
This is about subtraction, not addition. Letting go of the things that suffocate your instincts. Saying no to what drains you. Making micro-decisions every day that say, “I matter too.”
Reconnection doesn’t need a strategy. It needs space. It needs quiet. It needs honesty.
When you stop performing, you begin to hear the truth again.
Practices to Reconnect with Her
- Create a 15-Minute “You” Window: Make a hard stop in your day and claim 15 minutes that are yours. No productivity. No multitasking. Just something that lights you up. It could be sitting outside. Doodling. Reading something totally unrelated to business. The only requirement is that it feeds you.
- Journal From Her Voice: Imagine the version of you who didn’t care what others thought. Write from her. Ask her what she’s feeling. Let her speak freely, without trying to make it tidy or profound. You’re not writing for anyone but yourself.
- Reclaim the Music That Made You Feel Alive: Build a playlist of the music you loved before life got serious. The songs you danced to in your first apartment. The ones you sang at full volume in your car. Let music rewire your emotional memory. Play it while you cook, shower, or clean. Let it shake something loose.
- Put Her in Sight: Find a photo of yourself where you looked most alive. Not the polished headshot. The messy, joyful, bright-eyed version. Keep it visible. Let her be a mirror. Ask her: “What would you do today?”
- Audit Your Obligations: Print out your calendar for the week. Highlight everything you said yes to that doesn’t feel aligned. Ask what you’re doing out of guilt, fear, or habit. Begin cutting what doesn’t honor you. Make room for what does.
What You Might Discover When She Comes Back
Don’t be surprised if your business goals shift. Or if you suddenly crave quiet instead of constant stimulation. You may realize you want fewer clients but deeper impact. Or that you need more time in solitude to feel human again.
Creativity will start knocking. Not for content calendars or funnels, but for the sheer joy of making. You may feel more tender. More truthful. More opinionated.
You’ll want to be seen again. Not as a machine. But as a whole, complex, radiant human.
When Guilt Creeps In
Guilt is the bouncer at the door of your freedom. It’ll whisper, “This is selfish.” Or, “You don’t have time for this.” That’s the voice of burnout culture, not your soul.
When you reconnect with yourself, everything else gets better. You parent with more patience. You lead with more clarity. Your work becomes more magnetic because it’s anchored in truth.
This is not indulgent. It’s foundational.
Your Life Isn’t Meant to Be an Endless List
You weren’t put here to check boxes until you collapse. You’re not just the caretaker, the business owner, the calendar manager. You are a full-spectrum woman with creativity, depth, fire, and joy.
That version of you who once dreamed so big? She still exists. She’s buried under your schedule. She’s under the dishes and the deadlines. But she’s never left.
She’s waiting.
You Deserve to Feel Like You Again
This is not about chasing the past. It’s about reclaiming your presence. It’s about remembering who you are beyond the roles you play.
You don’t need another certification or strategy. You need to listen. Trust. Create space. And GROW.
You’ve already proven enough. It’s time to reconnect. To reimagine. To return to the parts of you that never stopped mattering.
You Don’t Need to Burn It All Down to Feel Like You Again
If you’re tired of feeling like a machine inside your own business, it’s time for something different. My private coaching is built specifically for entrepreneurial women over 40 who are ready to reconnect with who they really are, not just who they’ve had to be.
You’ve built the business. You’ve held it all together. Now it’s your turn to breathe, realign, and create from a place that feels honest and energizing again. This isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing what actually matters… to you.
Book a Connection Call today and let’s talk, woman to woman, about what you truly want, and how to create it without losing yourself in the process.
Cindy’s Private Coaching was made for this moment. And so were you. Schedule Your Call Now
FAQs
What does it mean to reconnect with yourself?
Reconnecting with yourself means tuning back into your inner voice, values, and desires, especially after years of performing, producing, or caregiving. It’s about remembering who you are beneath the roles you play.
Why do I feel lost even though my life is “successful”?
Success built on external expectations often leads to internal disconnection. (So don’t end up crying in the shower like I did!) If you’ve spent years building a business or life that looks good but feels empty, that’s a sign your soul is asking for something deeper.
Can I reconnect with myself without changing my whole life?
Yes. You don’t have to quit your job or leave your family. Reconnection starts in small, daily choices like taking time to reflect, creating space for joy, and honoring your instincts again.
Is this just a midlife crisis?
No. What you’re experiencing is a midlife awakening. It’s a call to realign your external life with your internal truth, not a breakdown but a breakthrough.
How do I find time to reconnect when I’m already overwhelmed?
Start with 15 minutes a day. This isn’t about adding more to your to-do list. It’s about subtracting what no longer serves you so you can reclaim what does.
What if I don’t know who I am anymore?
That’s more common than you think. Start with what you miss. What used to light you up? What do you crave now? These questions begin the path back to yourself.
Is journaling really effective for reconnection?
Absolutely. Journaling allows your subconscious voice to speak without interruption. Over time, it becomes a mirror that reflects your truth back to you.
Why do I feel guilty for taking care of myself?
Women are conditioned to believe their worth is tied to service. Reconnection disrupts that pattern by centering your needs, not because you’re selfish but because you’re human.